Name it, it’s not ‘vernac’.

hothweng?

This is a piece of pro active work I created with a friend of mine, who narrates the story in Sesotho, one of the official languages of South Africa. We developed this low budget piece to reflect a level of depth we attach to products we love, and how mainstream advertising tends to fall short of writing and consequently producing original, rich, pieces of work that would resonate with ordinary South Africans in their native languages. Like Sesotho, as is the case with this piece, not the insulting umbrella of ‘vernac’.

Link to audio: Rothisetsa Qoqotho.

Duration: 41 Seconds.


Script:

Itlhotlhore mahetla.

Tadima mahodimo, utlwa melodi ya dinonyana. Ke kae moo o yang?

Hetla riti sa hao, o ikgopole hore o mang

Toro tsa hao le tjhebelo pele ya moo o iponang,

Wena mongodi wa pale e tla tsosollosa ditjhaba-tjhaba,

Rabotapi, kgeleke ho tsa mmino.

Hetla riti sa hao, o…

View original post 127 more words

Advertisements

Rejoice, You failed Matric

Firstly, congratulations for failing Matric … I know it sounds strange right now but it’s a lesson – you will soon discover!
How? You ask … Here goes: your friends have all gone and gotten a piece of paper that entitles them to enter the rat race. You, my friend, have avoided that rat race, all expectations have fallen off you and you can now choose to define and take your own path.
You are no longer trapped, stressed nor worried about university acceptance, you can focus on yourself and finding out what you’re worth and what you really want.

The Benefits of Fail(ure)

You are facing down one of the most important life lessons FAILURE …. that demon that leaves us feeling judged and inferior. But you need to know that it’s a choice to feel like that, that failure doesn’t kill, that we must get up sooner than later and find ourselves and most importantly – to live our purpose.


You are lucky to have found what many will find out too late in life, you can never be truly happy and successful if you don’t find your true purpose, passions and you have the courage to follow through on your plans. To do something amazing you have to go, where others won’t go!

 

A side note: They, your friends, will get stuck in the middle of another #FeesMustFall fall out, which is necessary for sanity to prevail over our political and capital elites.

 

Forget what your parents think, the future is yours to decide upon.

Life is not about what your parents want! They’ve lived their own lives and they have no idea what the future holds for you – nor the future opportunities outside of the typical, defined path that sees so many graduates unemployed! The schools and universities and all the smart people in the world couldn’t tell me that I’d work as the strategist in social media and digital communications or that worse Donald Trump would be president today.

F*#k experts because Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist in 2002 in my first year of tertiary. YouTube, Instagram, Money4Jam, blogging, online sales, Uber, Nanotechnology, video tutorials, online universities and the current thriving 800-billion-dollar gaming industry. Hell, the Vega School of Brand Leadership just launched a Degree in gaming, that’s the future!

And gaming has been booming for decades. The future is happening, those poor kids in the university will only think themselves qualified to do anything worthwhile when they get their next piece of paper and permission. You don’t need permission to do amazing things … you lucky fish, life has started and you have a second chance to avoid misery .. flourish.

Dropouts rock

Today is no benchmark for the future, the world and everything we love is a result of someone else’s passions being put to work on something they care about. Apple, Microsoft, Facebook, Virgin, Oprah, Dell, Whole Foods, WordPress, these brands were built by passionate drop outs…. it is the passion, not the subject choice that determines happiness and the success.

Why you’re Lucky?

  1. The university dropout rate is 40% (too many students signing up for programs they don’t want to do or for the sake of getting into an academic institution)
  2. You won’t be forced to take whatever courses are left over or what you are expected to grasp because of your marks.
  3. You have another year to finding or focusing on what you’re really interested in. Use your imagination for a change.
  4. Another year to start something, to make a plan and execute.
  5. You’ve just been reminded that life has begun, there’s no starting age or time.
  6. You have reached the expiry date on blaming parents for steering you in the wrong direction.
  7. Rock bottom is a good foundation to start anything. How much further can you go?
  8. You can discover you – new strengths and pleasures, like how you are still a whole human being with ideas.
  9. Your measure of your life and worth will no longer be measured by passing exams.
  10. Knowledge is not only in book nor qualification, not a checklist of achievements/ qualifications and CV are not your life

While those smart people go off to learn how to be worked in a system, you can start building your own systems and ensuring that you’re investing in your passions

Survival and not living your full life is a bigger failure

You matter, your dreams matter.

Chase yours dreams now.

 

By

Lebo Mukansi: Successful Failer, Emperor of my life. Strategy Doer
Lesego Ranchu  Co-writer, Chief Ninja

Contacts: Papaleano@gmail.com

 

The “Poop Plot” and our Night in Jail in kenya

The story of me and my friend spending a scary but funny night inside a Nairobi Jail cell 
This his hilarious account most of which happened in Swahili including the poop plot


– Ronjey when he isn’t in jail (pic)

From housemates to inmates 

Y’know what, If you don’t find Nairobi intriguing you need to find a new life because one morning, fote fae minutes after waking up, I found myself baking up on my balcony with a guy I had never met all my life. A few days later, Lebo and I had become brothers in apartment.

One day, Lebo and I hadn’t seen each other in a while and were both looking forward to meeting at a party or dunda. So it was of course good times bumping into him staring at a screen during Hip Hop Karaoke at The Backyard last week.


Good vibes I said. Too much booze in my head and Lebo won’t stop telling me about what’s been happening since we didn’t hang. At one point standing by the main entrance, kedo five mamiz filed out, some wearing dark sunglasses and looking super pissed at 2am. In my mind I just heard Bitch Berra Have My Money!

Oblivious, we start to wander towards Oilibya, lost in our banter.

The last thing I see is cops roughing up two gentlemen. My natural night running juices tell me to fall back and absorb into the dark but the dood wants to boss it. Ati “si this is the same spot, outside Kwik Fit that I got cops to drop me home from a few months ago”, I lied to myself “Westy cops are gentlemen.” He! The next thing I know, I’m sitting in a police van watching Lebo get turned inside-out for “possible drugs”.

They drive along the main street, picking sane, sober and innocent people who are going about their legal business. Most are going home from work, there’s a waitress, and she calls someone and calmly says, wamenishika tena. “The bus left me so I was waiting for a bodaboda” A strong guy tries to resist the illegal arrest, he fights, he gets seriously hurt. One office is bleeding. Now he’s in more shit “for assaulting an office on duty.” 

At the main Westy matatu stage outside The Mall, a small crowd scatters as the van approaches. A man is thrown in a few minutes later. He’s overdressed in heavy jackets, shiny brow moving about from the direction of the pleading voice. 

Mimi sasa ni mtu wa bodaboda hapa nimefanya nini? Mtu atachukua pikipiki yangu bwana I’m just a bodaboda guy, what have I done? Someone will take my motorbike man!

Ati bu mutu wa bodaboda? Mimi ni dereva hapa Jacaranda, nilikuwa nangoja staff kwa gari ya kazi wakanibeba. Huh, bodaboda? I’m a driver at Jacaranda, was waiting for Staff in the company car and here I am. Meanwhile, one of the cops is following us. Riding this guy’s bike without police uniform, ID or any riding gear. And I’m just like ghai, theez are mungiki!

Blood, sweat and a little bit of alcohol since Lebo and I are quite sober now.


The last stop yields two gentlemen. We would later learn that they were father and son trying to get home at 3am after leaving their critically ill wife and mother at the Avenue Hospital just next door to the police station. And in the morning, the OCS still punished them to clean around the station before release.

At dawn, the real OGs who had been snoring right next to the overflowing toilets filled a blue jug with shit and tried to attempt a breakaway. Plan was that they’d splash some shit on the door, we’d all cry for help then when cops open, they’d splash more shit on them and this would be the time to avalanche out. I honestly thought it was a good idea but it all got ruined when some guy started yelling way too early before any shit was even splashed. So the OGs being too high and paranoid, got distracted and instead of going on with the plan, actually started shouting back at the man that he had a knife in cell. WTF GUYS!

But maybe that wasn’t even the plan because at the same time, there was an OG ransacking everyone, taking anything he found valuable. I saw that, I buried my money under my balls bro. Lebo fidgeted and I thought he had it sorted until this guy came and tried to jack his iphone cable. He managed to keep it but not his money. The OG would later ask a clerk at the court if they take South African Rand. But they don’t, so he bullied more inmates and got his bail paid.


What’s annoying is that this was a pure fund-drive by some greedy top guy because besides a few thousands they got on spot, the cops never actually asked for money until the OCS came at around 9am and declared a 5K bail or court.

Yours truly went to court, leaving Lebo as his name had been omitted from those going to court. A pleasant ride through the streets I know so well. I closed my eyes at the Museum Hill flyover and just felt the streets as we went until City Hall Way. These streets can be precious, just lack your freedom for a few hours.

The plain clothed cop asked us the offence we wanted to be charged under and since there was no reason to be here in the first place I shouted “minor offence!” Eeehh! Tuwekee tumakosa tudogotudogoMkubwa, sisi tulikuwa tunatoka kazi tu bwana! “Yeah, just give us minor offence Sir, we were only leaving work”, everyone kinda murmurs in agreement. The cop smiles and as the door clanks open, that’s the first question they ask. 

Suddenly all feels much better. 

Whatever charges they press against you, just accept and move on. Ukikataa utaenda remand for fourteen days! 

After 1000th warning of the dire consequences that follow should your phone ring during court session, court eventually rolls into session. One by one, groups of offenders go into the dock and have their charges read except this one super suspect whose crime was so rare they came solo.

”…caught in Luthuli Avenue with intent to engage in prostitution…true or false? True!…fine of 500 Shillings…NEXT! 

I wish I was her, or at least with her because I felt like I had gone through so much in 12hrs to be among some 15 people “reported to have littered by means of dumping cigarette butts in Westlands…true or false…FALSE…true…you each pay a fine of 500 shillings…NEXT!”
While Ronjey rode off into the sunset…….or court 

I was still stuck in the jail cell with the innocent first timers. The whole time no one bothered to speak in English so by my best guess I was in there on account of not speaking Swahili! 
Eventually after the serious offender head to court the main guy, OCS officer in charge of the station I guess. Demands my passport and looks at it very interestingly and nods at the female guard who starts shoving back into the poop cell …at this point I start protesting and I’m told I have to many passport stamps. I’m like WTF?!!!! Apparently Africans who travels to other African states are TERRORISTS …… so back to the cell for me 
After about an hour and “anti terrorist team” vetting : read 10k bribe I was released and the charge was “Idling and Negligence” 
Fucken moral of the story cops are shit and don’t get into a police van in kenya without a valid and legal reasons. 

Netflix has launched in South Africa

Netflix has launched across 130 new countries, including South Africa.
  
Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced at a press conference in Las Vegas that the video streaming service had been switched on in 130 new countries, including South Africa.
Where you were previously redirected to a page telling you that Netflix was not available in South Africa, you are now invited to sign up for a free month of streaming.

  
Cost of services 

The service is priced in US dollars, with plans structured the same as in the US.

Its cheapest package costs $7.99 per month and offers a single stream in standard definition, while its most expensive plan is $11.99 and lets you watch up to 4 simultaneous streams in HD and UHD resolutions.

The table below summarises the Netflix plans available.

Price plans :

  1. Basic $7.99 (R126) SD 1
  2. Standard $9.99 (R158) HD 2
  3. Premium $11.99 (R190) HD / UHD 4

       Exchange rate: R15.83/$



You have to provide credit card information or a PayPal account when signing up, but you can cancel if you are concerned about being billed at the end of your free month of service.

When you cancel, your Netflix account will remain active for the remainder of the month, and will only stop working when your free trial period is over

Content on Netflix SA 

Tv shows:

  

Action & adventure movies:

  
Children & Family movies:

   
Documentaries 

  
 

Carling Blue Label, yup Black Label has a sibling

The Thinking Brand


The master brewers of that tasty sweet beer called Black Label have conceived new beer called, Carling Blue Label beer. Its SA Breweries first single malt variety beer, which promises a subtle yet complex aroma and a satisfyingly smooth finish. That’s Brew Master language for we promise it will taste just as good old Tamatie (Carling Black Label).

Carling Black Label, South Africa’s most internationally awarded beer, with over 30 international trophies so little brother has a lot to live up to. Something tells me its SA breweries ways of getting on the premium market and possibly the female market.


It is made from a select single-variety malted barley and apparently the recipe is designed by the geniuses behind black label to be a special drinking experience. I believe them if they can replicate some of the magic that comes from an Ice cold black label beer.

Carling’s General Manager…

View original post 83 more words

Social Media can Turbo Charge your event

The Thinking Brand

image

Are you putting together an event? Have you thought about how you are going to support the event via social media to expand the brand reach and include people not physically at the event.

Principles for modern eventsevents

■ Holistic Event Strategy: Event strategy involves having a pre, post and during the event plans. These strategies should dovetail into a complete strategy that delivers on brand and business objectives.

■ Community Engagement: Event activations should integrate with existing brand communities and on-line communities who are not physically involved in the actual event.

image

Pre-Event: preparation for the event

■ Hashtags/Platforms/ Channels
◆Plan your hastings, platforms and media channels to focus on.
◆Decide on the media and content that needs to be produced in preparation for the event like video promos, on-line banners, tweets, updates and competitions.

■Create groups and tap into communities.

◆Rope in your communities to share and communicate the…

View original post 384 more words

Chapter 6 Dikeledi vs Tebza

Chapter 6 Dikeldi vs Tebza

As walked we walked down to the train station I realised just how deep my plunge was, now me and Dikeledi were stuck in an untenable situation we were both in the dog box, and our dream dates seemed to be slipping away. I was worried about the backlash from Lulu and the distance I may have created between me and Tebza. On the other hand Dikeledi was deeply hurt by Lerato’s act of betrayal, I must admit that I hadn’t even thought past the comment part.

I hadn’t even imagined what I would say to Dikeledi if the plan went south, boy did it go south kapela (fast). I didn’t have the girl, Dikeledi has lost to Tebza and my competitor was sweet talking my girl damn it. At this precise moment I remembered a saying that I had picked up in a hustler magazine or some random trashy magazine, it simply read in big red, bold letters; “when going through hell, just keep walking”. Meaning I was going to have to face the situation head on, anyway what the hell was wrong with being brought together with Dikeledi by fate’s little games!!

But then on the other hand there was Lulu’s wrath. The only way out would be to see through the plan and hope for the best. Dikeledi was putting on a brave face, but clearly the thought of going up against Tebza was daunting coupled with the devastating sting of Lerato’s rejection.

I had to do two things first, as you can imagine this was related closely to my other brain- mission 1- dont waste this opportunity, leroma(a kiss, pitori taal!!) was the least I could out of this mess. That was also going to be a delicate move, ( ps…this doesn’t mean that I’ve given up on getting with Tebza, my schoolboy heart was really pining for my dreamgirl.

Mission 2. Convince “D” (no more need 4 formalities, we were comrades facing a serious fight) oh sorry got a lil side tracked there. Right mission 2, would be to convince D to carry out the charade that would hopefully put us in stronger and restore us to our positions within the social hierachy of school society.

Mission1 was fucken akward to say the least so I decided that it was good to start my journey with that mighty social lubicrant (liquor). Those were the good old days and you could still buy alchohol in your school uniform, without any issues. Dikeledi was hesitant, mara ne go nyiwa blind, the pressurre was on. We both needed to be liberated from the stress of the teenage adventures.

1 Vin coco and R40 later and a quick walk saw us arriving a mike’s place.

Mike was a senior, standard nine boy who was my friend through a very funny situation that occured early in our lives, actually earlier. Mike was the step brother I never knew, as it turn our old man was attending 2 more than blocked drains. our old man ran a chain of plumbing services and was a baller (moneymaker), he started the plumbing service and a was evidently succesful in more than 1 way.

I might as tell you this story, mike is my older brother our parents had never mentioned to us that we had siblings. Turns out my brother has six siblings, his mom was the legit wife at the time. Apparently old man had shacked up with his mistress, while married to the main wife after Mike’s mama. How did we find out, simple, we were carbon copies with a little diffrence in height. Evidently we had the old man’s rugged tswana features. It was harder to deny the connection after he mistook me for his biological brother (Benny). After that we knew something was up. I’ll get into the story a little later on how we confirmed parentage with our parents. So far no1 knew we were related at the time.

Mike was very popular with the chicks ‘man-whore’ was his nickname, of course no one would say to his face except maybe some unhappy conquest/s. For this reason Mike was a God to all the guys in our school.

My heart jumped straight to my throat, I think me and Dikeledi were experiencing the same shock. We were both just standing there gawking at the car parked directly in front of Mike’s house. Shit kevin was here, where were the girls and what hell was Kevin doing here. I wasn’t prepared for this confrontation either with kevin or Tebza, fuck….and now Mike is involved in some way.

I thought things were weird for me, imagine poor Dikeledi who was still hoping to hook up kevin. I had to make a decision and fast, in the end I chose to catch the last train heading out. Me and D sat by the train station and drank the vin coco in silence, it like was playing school boy with alchohol ( puff and pass stunts). By the time the train arrived we were throughly drunk, luckily 1st class wasn’t full.

Making moves on D was nerve wrecking, the kind of thing that make boys quiver. I had no idea where I would start, in a panic I acted as a schoolboy would, I did what made sense to my oversexed and lubricated brain . I stupidly went straight for her privates, which made funnier by the fact that I was sitting accross her in the train. So you can imagine that me reaching out for her wowanhood with and openhand. Never mind that she is fully and that’s the first physical contact I was making. ( Mental note get help from mike)

Luckily for me D wasnt as innocent as she seemed. She helped get my bearings and it was the greatest train ride I’ve taken.

… Mike had been trying to explain to me why blow jobs were so great. I knew what they were and had experienced it twice and it wasn’t really anything to get excited about. Dikeledi really put me onto bjs, I don’t know what she was doing down there, oweeeee all I knew is that it felt like a 10 minute orgasm. she made gloria’s lil bj seem like pouring warm water on my dingaling. This was heaven. I think I fell in love or atleast in Lust with D that day.

I would have loved to have gone all the way but girls have to maintain some exclusivity to keep niggas interested. At that time the winter ball situation seemed a million miles away, Tebza was a distant memory. I guess the dikeledi was still thinking abt the endgame, how things would be if she gave it up.

I walked her home in silence imagining what the backlash would be and what was happening at Mike’s place. I was thinking about all the debauchery I’d witnessed at mike’s place was my Tebza being de flowered aaaarrrggg, my lil heart was a lil sore. Bt I was smiling like an idiot.

I still had to come with a plan to get back to my plan ….. Big mission ahead !!!